Post by Jennifer Herado on Nov 19, 2014 20:55:52 GMT -8
So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead
I know what's best for me
But I want you instead
December 24, 2008
12:23 p.m.
One of the perks of being the daughter of a semi-well-known Death Eater was being able to walk the streets freely without worry despite the attacks that had sent everyone into a frenzy. That was why Jennifer Anne Herado found herself inside a café this freezing afternoon, bundled up in a scarf and her favorite black robes near the small fireplace the eerily empty place had. She was munching cautiously at the caesar salad wrap she had ordered off the café's menu and sipping at her iced tea. It had always been a favorite of hers here at this place, which was why the pending war hadn't stopped her from coming here. It was one of the few places that had stayed open in order to try to maintain a public norm and have their own itty bitty, silent protest against the wrongs done at the now-closed school and the Ministry.
Jennifer herself had mixed feelings about this whole ordeal. On the one hand, she had grown up practically adoring Voldemort and all he and his followers stood for and had practically been prepared to take the mark should he ever come back. In that front, it left her utterly thrilled that there was something she could now do to serve the dead man's memory. On the other hand, there was Charlie, and she couldn't simply just give him up. She had grown to care very deeply about him over their brief couple months of dating at the school, and just giving him up didn't seem possible. Of course, she hadn't spoken to him since the eve of the battle, not even on the train home the day following. She just hadn't known what to say to him. Her mixed feelings made it hard, but they had also been what had stopped her from going up to her father and telling him that she wanted in because she really didn't know if she wanted that or not.
What would be the best choice for her? Life as a Death Eater or dating Charlie and standing by him? If she were to stick with Charlie, she feared her protection in this war would be gone. She would be foolish to stick with him, completely foolish, but it was what she wanted. Every time she thought of leaving him, she felt sick, and it hurt so much she wanted to cry—something Jennifer didn't just up and decide to do on a normal basis. Crying was for the weak; crying was for the girly-girls, and she was neither weak nor a girly-girl. She was strong, tough. She wanted to stay that way, but if she stuck with Charlie, even if she wouldn't cry and would therefore feel tough, she would lose the protection her father offered her, and thereby she would become weak. Why was it that, when she knew what would be best for her, she wanted the other? Why did she want Charlie when she shouldn't, if she was in her right mind?
Safety was a big issue in this world now. Could Charlie keep her safe? She thought long and hard on that question, but she couldn't come to an answer. She wanted desperately to believe he could, but then again, Charlie was only one person compared to legions of Death Eaters. She and Charlie were only two against many. Of course, the Death Eaters wouldn't be directly after them because, let's face it, Jennifer wouldn't necessarily be siding against them by choosing him, just choosing not to join them. But maybe they only looked at things in black and white. Maybe it would be looked at as siding against them. Maybe she would be putting them both in danger by choosing the one over the other. Oh, she was so confused. She needed someone she could confide in, someone she could talk to, even if she couldn't divulge the whole situation.
She sighed and then took a bite of her wrap, which had lost its flavor to her in all her thought. She set it down and played a little with her straw, swirling it around in the light brown beverage before taking a sip just as a cold gust of wind, which caused her to shiver, accompanied by the sound of a bell distracted her as she looked up to see who it was. Maybe it was someone she knew. It was, after all, a small world.
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead
I know what's best for me
But I want you instead
December 24, 2008
12:23 p.m.
One of the perks of being the daughter of a semi-well-known Death Eater was being able to walk the streets freely without worry despite the attacks that had sent everyone into a frenzy. That was why Jennifer Anne Herado found herself inside a café this freezing afternoon, bundled up in a scarf and her favorite black robes near the small fireplace the eerily empty place had. She was munching cautiously at the caesar salad wrap she had ordered off the café's menu and sipping at her iced tea. It had always been a favorite of hers here at this place, which was why the pending war hadn't stopped her from coming here. It was one of the few places that had stayed open in order to try to maintain a public norm and have their own itty bitty, silent protest against the wrongs done at the now-closed school and the Ministry.
Jennifer herself had mixed feelings about this whole ordeal. On the one hand, she had grown up practically adoring Voldemort and all he and his followers stood for and had practically been prepared to take the mark should he ever come back. In that front, it left her utterly thrilled that there was something she could now do to serve the dead man's memory. On the other hand, there was Charlie, and she couldn't simply just give him up. She had grown to care very deeply about him over their brief couple months of dating at the school, and just giving him up didn't seem possible. Of course, she hadn't spoken to him since the eve of the battle, not even on the train home the day following. She just hadn't known what to say to him. Her mixed feelings made it hard, but they had also been what had stopped her from going up to her father and telling him that she wanted in because she really didn't know if she wanted that or not.
What would be the best choice for her? Life as a Death Eater or dating Charlie and standing by him? If she were to stick with Charlie, she feared her protection in this war would be gone. She would be foolish to stick with him, completely foolish, but it was what she wanted. Every time she thought of leaving him, she felt sick, and it hurt so much she wanted to cry—something Jennifer didn't just up and decide to do on a normal basis. Crying was for the weak; crying was for the girly-girls, and she was neither weak nor a girly-girl. She was strong, tough. She wanted to stay that way, but if she stuck with Charlie, even if she wouldn't cry and would therefore feel tough, she would lose the protection her father offered her, and thereby she would become weak. Why was it that, when she knew what would be best for her, she wanted the other? Why did she want Charlie when she shouldn't, if she was in her right mind?
Safety was a big issue in this world now. Could Charlie keep her safe? She thought long and hard on that question, but she couldn't come to an answer. She wanted desperately to believe he could, but then again, Charlie was only one person compared to legions of Death Eaters. She and Charlie were only two against many. Of course, the Death Eaters wouldn't be directly after them because, let's face it, Jennifer wouldn't necessarily be siding against them by choosing him, just choosing not to join them. But maybe they only looked at things in black and white. Maybe it would be looked at as siding against them. Maybe she would be putting them both in danger by choosing the one over the other. Oh, she was so confused. She needed someone she could confide in, someone she could talk to, even if she couldn't divulge the whole situation.
She sighed and then took a bite of her wrap, which had lost its flavor to her in all her thought. She set it down and played a little with her straw, swirling it around in the light brown beverage before taking a sip just as a cold gust of wind, which caused her to shiver, accompanied by the sound of a bell distracted her as she looked up to see who it was. Maybe it was someone she knew. It was, after all, a small world.
